Number 7

Sorry folks, it has taken a bit longer than expected to post my favourite things... but, I would like to finish it up sometime this year... :)

Number 7//




I love how the four of us know each other. It is 100% God. Blythe met Steph at Passion Conference randomly, Blythe knew Bollom from New Life Ranch, Blythe knew me from OSU...and then Blythe was kind enough to let me in on the friendship of her Aussie friends... I am grateful. We all got to hang out in Australia...and it was the best day.

number 9 and 8

NUMBER NINE//

these really cheap fake glasses at a discount market...



NUMBER 8// CHRISTMAS IN THE SUMMER!!! SO FUN. went to my favourite place on earth [the beach] with friends, and had an amazing time during the holidays. There were only a handful of us that stayed over the holidays as most people went home to be with their families. So, the group that stayed got pretty close. We went to the beach Christmas day. BUCKET LIST CHECK! And, it was just beautiful weather. My friend Nastassia and I made french toast for breakfast and smoothies... nothing like the amazing breakfast I am used to at home : ) We both decided to push through the disappointment that we couldn't be home, and went with it. And ended up having a ball. Who couldn't have fun at the beach?

my 10 most favourite moments in Australia. [in no particular order] : )

NUMBER 10...
Finding myself where I was at, at Manly beach.
I had recently arrived to Australia about a month earlier and was having a real homesick moment. I remember thinking when I got to the area that I would be staying in all year, “I didn’t sign up for this.” It was no where near the beach like I had anticipated. Sydney was a much bigger place than I had pictured in my mind... I decided to head off to Manly Beach to explore, and while my first choice is definitely to not be alone, I decided to venture off. I found myself boarding the bus, train and ferry by myself with only a backpack of belongings. I was literally pretty full of fear. So, I get to Manly beach and don’t know what to do. I have a semi freak out moment like, “what did I actually just do and why am I at this beach alone?” It was starting to get dark... so I made the decision to stay over night [because I hadn’t even seen the beach.] I was praying that God would kind of take me on an adventure, so when I walked up to a hotel right off the beach I figured it was all full for the night. But no, there was one room available for one person. I took it. I enjoyed a slice of pizza for dinner and then sat in my hotel room and prayed, and just let God love me, it was just me and God and I was writing in my journal and singing...and wow what a special night of God just speaking into my heart...Every unmet expectation that I had experienced over the past month, every unplanned moment, every planned moment, the good and the bad...

Such a monumental moment for me in Australia. I was finally able to get away and be in the quiet and I don’t think I’ve ever been quite the same since that moment. A very real moment of God saying, “I see you, I brought you here, I know you...I won’t leave you.”

Yeah.

even if to just write upon my heart; i know that you've come now.

Dearest Blog Readers,

well, it has been a whole entire year since I left for Australia.
what a full year it has been. Sometimes not even enough time in the day to get everything done... so, blogging has taken a back seat. Apologies.

so many things are different in me. in all the best ways possible.

I really believe that LIFE is only getting better from here.
so excited to see what is next on this journey of life.

I have learned such a valuable lesson of living life with no regrets.
I don't have to rush life, it just happens. God is never late...
I have learned the importance of being intentional, passionate, planning things out [massive step for me], goals, practicing, and spending time in the Word of God... it really is the only way we are going to make it out alive.
I used to get bogged down about what i should be doing, and not what i was actually doing...but, my focus has slowly shifted to just being satisfied with what my hands are doing in every season.


God isn't as interested about my comfort as much as he is interested in my character...

I still have these massive dreams that I can't seem to shake, but my conviction for the seasons and journey of my life is greater. God is building a home, a place that He is quite comfortable in... and there is still a world that needs to hear about WORSHIP and JUSTICE.

So I'm not done.
[Even though I have wanted to quit life more this year than ever in my life.]
God's not done.

As for the next season...

Not quite sure.
Exciting days ahead.

Thank you so much for all the prayers you have prayed over me this year. I took this massive faith step coming to a different country...and have felt supported every step of the way. I am so grateful for my family and friends who have had such an amazing impact on my life. I am forever indebted. At the end of the day everyone needs someone to believe in them... and I am so blessed to have people that believe in me. Please be praying for the next steps I need to make. And that the resources to make these decisions would be made known...

xoxo with my WHOLE heart,

Amanda Blackwell

it's your blood. that has claimed me.

a blog about some random thoughts on Easter 2011.

I am trying to remember exactly where I was this last week, last year... and where I am this year and where I was last year are a world apart [literally and metaphorically]... in every sense of the meaning of that phrase. my life is different.

Fighting back tears tonight while writing this in my beloved journal...and how different things look through these eyes these days.

There has been a massive shift take place.

I am just so astounded the God of the Universe made humans to be His best friend...and everything changed with a simple bite of free-will fruit. And ever since that moment in history there has been a great pursuit, starting through a chosen generation of [Israel], to right this wrong. For humans and God to dwell again together in right relationship. The Old Testament, historically a bit daunting and vague, actually declares that story of pursuit. The law was written so that God could once again dwell with people. He asked people to build a tabernacle in a desert so that God's presence could stay with them there... Ah, so poetic, so beautifully perfect, so full of symbolism and... grace. And the story goes on with testimony after testimony of provision and faithfulness. And then the New Testament came along and everything changed. God so loved the WORLD that He wanted to deal with this sin issue once and for all and instead of building another tabernacle for Himself to dwell in, He sent Himself in human form to dwell among people. He chose to come down onto the Earth.

Love: Personified. Jesus.

And so Jesus comes and teaches a new law. Not the law once valid in the desert, but a new law. The old was gone and the new had come. And Jesus was the new law, He was the new way to get to the Father. And just like blood sacrifices were the only proper atonement for sins in the desert [old testament], blood was the only proper atonement for sins on the cross [new testament]. But, it wasn't thought that everyone should perish, but have everlasting life...so LOVE took our place. Because God longed for a relationship with His people to be restored. My mind cannot comprehend it. I cannot hold it in, I am bursting... His blood and His body broken. The covenant redeemed between Christ by death on a cross. ONCE. AND. FOR. ALL.

And if Jesus had never rose again, we would have no hope of the Holy Spirit to DWELL in our hearts...To be in relationship with us.

The gospel effects everyone. The Bible is not some ordinary book- it has withstood the test of time, where other doctrines fail...it stays true. Jesus has withstood the test of time. People are still talking about Him today. I don't know many other people as old as Him that people are still talking about..

I want so badly to just sit and tell the ways that Jesus has been good to me. But, none compare with the act of love that was shown on the cross...And my only right response to this, is to ask [whoever may be reading this]... do you believe it for yourself this Easter 2011?

it's your blood. that has saved me.
it's your blood. that has claimed me.

Easter 2010: I believed that for myself.

Easter 2011...
I cannot contain it.
I cannot keep quiet anymore.
It isn't enough for me to believe.
Let the gospel advance.

JESUS.
IS.
ALIVE.

stepping out.

A song [ you will HAVE to forgive the guitar playing] for the ones we have lost. Scott Estes, a chord was struck in me when I read of your accident and story... and I felt like I couldn't keep quiet. Like, whoever needed to hear this song [ that I probably would have just kept to myself] needed to hear it. As a quiet exclamation that there is hope. I am now relieved to get it out. Until I did... I was feeling a bit restless. Then I thought of all the other people who are feeling hopeless...and how my voice today can sing over you what I feel the Holy Spirit wanted to breathe.

but, you will HAVE to forgive the guitar playing...
; )

I stand in VICTORY tonite...

I stand in victory tonight.

Facing a CT scan tomorrow afternoon to make sure that my neck discs were not broken or damaged in my accident.

I feel like all I have been thinking about, talking about, expressing is about my neck...

but I came to this very real realization today, and that is this:

I only get one neck.

Profound right?

But, also came to this realization as well. This freak accident that was so untimely and severely inconveniencing to me has hurt me emotionally and physically. I fully believe that the circumstance [really out of my control] was also a way for the enemy to come and try to dismantle me. A cunning way for him to say- “now you’ll stop”... and I think the worst way to respond, in any of the situation we face in life, is to say, “you are right.”

Like, we can’t let him win. he is too freakin’ stupid for that crap.

So while, I am still struggling to get my voice back/still living with crazy tight and strained neck muscles/still having persisting neck pains/still feeling the weight of the financial burden that may lie ahead of me...

I stand in victory tonight.

Right now, my first thought is that my health is of number one importance, so the road that I may need to walk could land me in a bit of a financial slump because this simply... was not planned with the funds that got me here to Australia...

Tonight, I ask that you pray for wisdom in the road to recovery and that God’s best would be shown. He knows me pretty well, so I’m cool with letting Him show me. And He knows that I only get one neck too... which makes me at peace. And He knows my future...

I may be thinking of creative ways to earn some money in the near future...and if you have any ideas. you just let me know...

Love,
Amanda

It isn't how I imagined, but even better.

There are so many things to talk about. I definitely am not at a loss for words... ; )
What to talk about?? I hope that my Christmas letter made it out to everyone that wanted one...if you didn’t get one, and are reading this and want one- then shoot me an email. ajb428@gmail.com

I have been really surprised of how accessible I have been while being away in a different country. I am on FB daily [sometimes to my detriment], and get to Skype regularly...also, I check my email a lot...so if you are feeling like you haven’t talked to me [if you even want to] then feel free to Skype me or Facebook me or whatever. Or if you want my address [hint hint...care packages] then message me. ; )
I would love to hear how you are weathering storms, going about daily life, and you could entertain me with your fun stories and jokes...

So, the second semester has started off with a bang. I think I was rudely awakened with the early alarm going off...and more than anything I have decided how much of a later morning person I am. 7 in the morning and I think God tells me, “it’s ok Amanda- go back to bed. Wake up in a couple more hours. The world will thank you.” I just love the laziness of a morning. Like, I literally need to wake up 3 hours earlier than my first class. So that I can: hit snooze for an hour, lay in bed for another 15 minutes, make breakfast s.l.o.w.l.y., make coffee which ends up being a 15 minute activity, normally cleaning up some mess I have made doing the two aforementioned activities, then it is finding something to wear, putting an outfit together, while checking the latest news/facebook, and then there is the need to start the day with some Word...and then there is the jewelry, the hair, the makeup, the teeth brushing...ending in me looking at the time//panicking and running out the door in a frenzy.

Oh to be able to order my world a bit better. It would take me getting up at 5 am right now to be able to be leisurely... 5 am, I cannot cope with you...

In other news... I had a great great great holiday [as the posh call it] and I got really used to the beach life. And secretly, I was made for it I think. But, trying to work out how full-time ministry, living at the beach and being able to see my family and friends on a regular basis would pan out... it. could. happen.

I had a little part time job during my 2 month break from school. Beautiful wonderful friends to spend it with. Time at the beach, soaking in the rays and getting bronzed. I spent NYE in front of the Sydney Harbour Bridge with the Opera House just a mere walk away...and the most incredible fireworks display I have ever seen. in. my. entire. life. I couldn’t help but cry and remember promises that God had spoken over me in 2010. And how scary, rocky, and worth the journey had been. And I was actually getting to see fireworks reflect off of the Sydney Opera House. Unreal. So, I cried...

And now it is February. I cannot begin to explain what God has done in me since July 2010. I am reminded of a picture that I took the day before I left Tulsa. It is the picture of my old TOMS and then my new pair next to it. A creative attempt at displaying the old and new. And yet, when I took that picture [testing out my new camera options] I never realized how perfectly it would fit into my life story. I have believed ever since the beginning that this year was going to be “my” year, that I would “find myself” and that I would “know what I am supposed to do with my life” and that I will have a “clearer direction” as to how I “fit into the big picture”...and I just imagine that God chuckled. In fact, if I was writing this story and added God’s reaction, it would be just that... “He chuckled to Himself.” I say this because, I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT I WAS GETTING MYSELF INTO. But, God did. And. He chuckled.

In no better words, I felt like the moment I arrived in Sydney God grounded me. I felt like He sat me down and said, “I love you, but we need to talk.”

So, I did what every princess-angel-child does... I pouted.
and pouted some more. And found it unfair. And pouted some more.

After my temper-tantrum [that embarrassingly lasted like 3 months] ended, I realized that God was still there. Like, really there. Our little talk had lasted a few good months, as I wrestled back and forth with God about mindsets, sins, relationships. You name it, we talked. [SEE SIDE NOTE] And after some light-bulbs started to turn on, and after I began to [figuratively] sweep some floors in the rooms of my heart, I began to hear God just say, “This is what I brought you here for... This is it.” I brought you to Australia to sweep some floors. To rearrange some rooms. To build a deck. To remodel the basement of your heart.

Side note: in an attempt to be faithful with what is “in my hand”... the keyboard is right now, and I want to just say- if you are reading this in a far off and distant land, and are thinking that God has given up on you because of your distrust of Him...friend, He hasn’t. If you think God is smaller than the doubts you have about Him...I promise you He isn’t. And so I encourage you, beg of you, to just talk to God today. It is really what He wants more than anything, I think. An honest heart. Where-ever you are at. He can take your wrestling. Our journey is what makes Him God and us human...


God brought me from old [in whatever way that was for me] and literally planted new [and I dug my heels in to rebel]... all the while God knowing that this journey from old to new was worth it. That once the old was gone the new could come. That the rooms of my heart were looking outdated and they needed new decor...and it wouldn’t be how I imagined, but even better.

So finishing with two //the old is gone and the new has come// thoughts tonight:

It is about my character, not my comfort.
It gives me great hope tonight that sometimes God puts situations in our lives that are uncomfortable. For one purpose... TO BUILD CHARACTER. When I realize that life has mountains and it has valleys and in both God is refining me more for eternity, then somehow it is more bearable. And that is really what life is all about...

Know Jesus.
Like really know Him. It gives me so much peace that what I do doesn’t define who I am. That my worth is secured because Jesus loves me full stop. And that His love is enough. He doesn’t just like me for my voice and talents. Like He alone will be the only true satisfier of my life- everything else cannot be my God. Only He can. And all those questions that I thought I came to Australia to learn will be found in this one answer... Know Jesus. Yeah, that gives me hope.


And...I hope that this blog has filled you with hope tonight.
As you journey, and seek God- or maybe you are finding God right now. I am sure that He will never let you down. Even when you think He will [hence my little LONNNNNG talk with Him spanning months.] I am no one special. Maybe God wants to have a talk with you too...

Goodnight from a distant land
[where it is nearly 1 am and probably still 80 degrees.]